Wednesday, May 11, 2016

The journey begins...

Our little Anika, arrived on 24th January 2016. 

As soon as her head popped out in the delivery chamber, her cries overpowered the music that the doctor had played in the OT. Within seconds I could see the little blue-grey baby being handed over to Aditya. He looked so dazed and amazed, marveling at our creation. Amidst the rush of the doctors, nurses, scissors, knives, gauges, he shared a moment, just him and the lil' one, admiring the innocence and beauty he held carefully, very carefully, now and for life. 

Post a flurry of activity that pursued, there was a little crying baby held close to me. I had for some reason been doubting the emergence of maternal instincts in me. Maybe it was the lack of desire to go "awwwww" at every baby I met, or the times when I was on the flight and was relieved when the crying baby fell asleep. Whatever be it, I didn't expect what was coming next. The little one held close to me, the little face peeping out of the swaddle with her closed eyes, crying overwhelmed by the activity and change that her little world was undergoing, I felt aggressively protective. I felt an immediate connect. I'm sure the 9 months her life took shape within me, had something to do with it. Her current helplessness, her need for us, her potential, all took over me to realize the immense responsibility we had taken upon ourselves.  It was my responsibility, our responsibility as parents, to help her embrace this life, appreciate its beauty, explore its wonders, cease its opportunities, face its challenges and guide her through it. While the magnitude of it was intimidating, the fear was overtaken by the excitement and thrill of the challenging unknown, and, the immense love and care for the new member of our lives. 

Once back home, all that we had been planning for since the last few months, all the purchases, preparations, learnings were now to be put to use. Obviously, we soon realized, you can never be fully prepared. Every day springs a new surprise. Just when you settle into a schedule it changes. Just when you thought you had gotten a hang of things things start to go downhill. Both Anika and we explored the new world with amazement. She touches, she observes intently, her mind whirring with new realizations and discoveries and we learn slowly by observing her. I am occasionally left wondering about what she thinks...everything's so new, so unknown. It's a clean sheet which is slowly being imprinted. The first chapter of a new story is unfolding. The first steps of a new journey being taken. So much activity around her, nappy changes, washing loads, feeding, crying, cleaning, random hours....enough to push you over the edge...but then she smiles....and all is forgotten. And you are left basking in the warmth of unconditional love and joys of parenthood.

Sunday, November 2, 2014

Look out and see

On the journey to the place I felt I had to be,
I choose to look out of the window and see...

The magnanimous, glittering snow clad mountains in the distance,
formidability & grace in peaceful concurrence.
The narrow brook that finds its way around every obstacle,
playfully twisting and turning to reach its destination below.
The ravines with steep mountain sides diving into darkness,
small rocks tumble down, disappearing into the mysterious unknown.

I watch, I wonder, I introspect...
On the journey to place I felt I had to be.

The birds sing songs, flying free in the blue skies,
gliding and swerving at the intoxicating rhythms played by life.
The tiny goat tries to balance and make its way,
bravely to the juiciest grass on the vertiginous cliff.
The autumn leaves on the trees dance in the breeze,
a burst of colors & life, a carnival comes alive.

I connect, I cherish, I admire...
On the journey to the place I felt I had to be.

The child sleeps tucked in the arms of her mother,
engulfed in the innocence and purity of the dawn.
A man sits alone on the station bench, looks lost into the distance,
the scars, the wisdom, the memories, tears from his eyes flow no more.
The youth is excited, waiting expectantly for the journey up ahead,
the exhilaration, the ambition, he is ready to discover, explore & know.

I pray, I smile, I fear...
On the journey to the place I felt I had to be.

I see the world passing by, the marvels around us that we fail to see,
my mind is full of questions, some for myself & some for the rest...
I try to look for answers, I seek for a hint, a signal perhaps.
Peace and restlessness jostle with each other for space.
I wish the journey never ends, but the clock ticks on.

I take a deep breath and least for the moment,
On the journey to the place I felt I had to be,
I choose to look out of the window and see.

Sunday, February 16, 2014

What's in the name?

Recently someone inquired as to why my blog is named the way it is..a pinch of salt and a dash of sugar..It seemed like a good idea to explain it on the blog itself... so here it goes. 

Have you ever tasted food without salt? Yes.... exactly, the one that you put in your mouth and then squirm because of the tastelessness and the blandness. It just makes me realize the importance of that tiny pinch of salt in our food, the primary source of taste. If extended to our lives, we all have come across the phrase "take it with a pinch of salt". Do we sometimes end up giving ourselves and things around us too much importance? I'm not saying that we all give up what we are doing and be careless fools, but take life with a pinch of salt I say. Lead your regular lives, focus on your goals, work towards them but don't stress about them. When faced with challenges, don't brood on them but look for the way out, look at the positives. We need to learn not to give ourselves, the lives we lead, the things we do as much seriousness and importance to make them a burden for ourselves. Every now and then, we come across situations when we feel like we have hit a major low and a few weeks/months/years down when the situation has passed, it is then that we realise that us getting upset, being shattered did not make any difference to the change that came along subsequently. It only worsened the situation further. Situations come, situations go, things happen, it's all part and parcel of life. Live every moment of life in a joyful manner, have fun, fool around, explore, discover, live life positively. It shall all be good at the end!  That is what is summarized in my mind in the phrase "A pinch of salt" in my title. 

Coming to the second part, have you ever tried adding a dash of sugar to your food? It doesn't make the food sweet... the sugar caramelizes to bring out hidden flavours of the food which you don't realize but come from that sugar which you had added. This was a trick that my grandmother used to use and people never got to know what was the magic behind her cooking while the family, friends and beyond lapped it up. A small amount of sugar can make such a difference, even in our lives. Be nice to yourself, be nice to others, a bit of sweetness and world is a different place altogether. I believe the way you are with others, your actions, your deeds, they always come back. So add that dash of sweetness in your lives and see the difference. That is what I mean as "A dash of sugar".

While you might have understood from the food connection in both the explanations that I love cooking, I just wanted to explain the meaning the title has underneath. Be positive, be light-hearted and be nice. It is the apt title for me and for what I want to write in this blog. Hope I overcome the horrible trend of writing and end up writing more frequently in future. Cheers!!

Friday, February 14, 2014

The Breath of Life

A whiff of new air, 
a sweet, fragrant breeze swirled all around me.
It was so refreshing, so pleasant...
"Should I step beyond and embrace it with all my soul?"
In the intoxication of the moment, out I ran.
My arms wide open, I could feel the wind on every inch of me.
Blowing through my hair, hitting my face gently, caressing me with love.
A whirlwind ensued, things flew to heights never before, 
Oh the rush! The high! The euphoria! 
The wind settled, and time passes on as a gentle breeze,
as refreshing as before, discovering new nooks and corners, 
Lifting me high into the sky, the whole world beneath, just us above it all.
It plays with me, tosses me around, it teases me, it makes me smile.
It stays with me all along now,
every moment, every second, 
It is in every moment I live, it keeps my soul alive, 
it's my breath of life.

Written after a really long time... Feels nice! For Joop. 

Friday, March 19, 2010


It all came to me in this one class of a course which focuses upon human relationships and interactions. Generally I tend to like the subject, however, this one course tries to put human beings and their actions in a structure, that I believe is not really possible, and rigid ones at that..
The day's topic was 'Decision Making' and I felt It would be interesting, however, it wasn't to be. It hit the heights of absurdity when the facilitator tried fitting different models (one of them aptly named 'The garbage can model') into the process of choosing one's life partner. One of the most important, beautiful, emotional and sensitive choices in one's life was being put forward as reaching a 'solution' to the 'problem at hand'!! All through the past two months, I had been constantly holding onto my belief in the subject against the wishes of people around me and then there was my super-ego forcing me to being diligent, paying attention in class and being a 'ghissoo' as it is put in our XL community. However, this class got too much for even me and I lost myself in my thoughts......
Decision....A very important aspect of one's life. A single word that can make the world turn on it's head.
Decisions are made at every step, at every moment.....I look back... that one moment when I decided to not give in to certain pressures and chose to pursue an MBA,the moment I decided to break the shackles and inhibitions in my mind and let go...fall in love..., the decision I made to be the way I am, the decsion to listen to the music I do, to gaze at the stars in the night sky, to pick up a flower, appreciate it & feel the joy within.....there are somany more..too many to be listed...changing every moment, every hour, every lifetime..
The decisions I have made till date, some right but quite a few wrong, however, I don't regret having made them....They helped me become the person I am.
The class is almost over...Time well spent...
My take away from the lecture, a random flow of thoughts, a goofy smile on my face and an interesting 'fact'....
'If we change a molecule of a painkiller, we will get a hairspray...' (collected from the presentation given by the lecturer during one of the rare moments when I decided to pay attention in class).
Did you know that?? :-P

Sunday, March 7, 2010

To Baba...On his birthday...

Dear Baba,

I’m away from those soothing words, the caring soul, the simple mind,

Looking for beauty, searching for knowledge, a love for nature that’s out of its kind,

Enthusiastic about life, its small wonders, magnanimity and pleasure,

A creative heart, a sensitive being that the world fails to measure...

It’s not now that I felt this, it’s just that I feel more inclined to show,

Baba, there have been times I’ve fought, been adamant, but I would like you to know,

I am not expressive enough, but I hope you understand,

The love and respect I have for you is a celebration, it’s grand,

The times when I’m up in the loft, flipping through your writings,

The times I remember you taking me around to see the Pujo lightings,

Your questions about random trees, birds and sometimes the name of road,

The way you bring security into our lives and our warm, beautiful abode,

The way I cherish it when you praise me, when you support me with what I want,

Makes me feel like bringing to you all I can and sometimes even what I can’t,

The advices you give, the words you share, the little joys that bring to us all through,

Baba, I realise I don’t say or show it much, but I truly, deeply love you.

            Lots of hugs and kisses on this special day,


Happy Birthday!!!!

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Starry , starry nights,
Where do you take me to?
Into the shimmering lights,
I feel like I belong to you......